13 Months

Dear BoyBoy,

Your love is my drug. It's true, I am madly in love with you!

Every day you become a little more of yourself. I suppose we all do. But what a miracle it is to witness.

This rollercoaster of parenting continues with each day a little more rich than the one before. Some days I'm exhausted and wondering just how people do it; some days I'm inspired but can't find a spare second until your middle of the night feeding to write down my ideas. It's just a whirlwind, but I'm learning little ways to find moments of peace.

We've found that you take an awesome and massive 2 hour nap in the late morning if you "work out." This means we take you to gym day care, where you run, climb, play and socialize. By the time we get home you are screaming for your nap. It's brilliant.

Your Dad is super busy these days with pilot season. Hard to believe that this time last year he was going to three auditions a day with barely any sleep and coming home to marvel at you.

With every passing day I swear you are taller. And cuter. You are growing up so fast, of course I want to press the slow down button. But it's so exciting to see you grow more confident and learn so many things. And as I get a daily glimpse of the big boy you're becoming I'm so grateful my sweet and cuddly baby boy remains. You still love to hug and cuddle and "be on me." I will cry many tears when that changes, but I have to focus on this present moment, crazy and fleeting and full of love and laughs.

System Update
It seems as though your squirrel body and mind uploaded the latest version, because you certainly are "harder, better, faster, stronger."And LOUDER. Boy, we are in for it! You are crying louder, laughing louder, shouting louder, talking louder, singing louder--your volume is turned way up. And you are walking faster, almost a run towards whatever has captivated your attention for a maximum of 10 seconds. I'm thinking about canceling my gym membership--chasing you all day is about as intense as a spin class. And since we like to dance, it feels pretty close, too.

Play
You like to pick up as many blocks and toys (fake cookies, your SKWISH) as you can and rush around the living room just wobbling and dropping stuff. You've been playing fetch with your new balls. You toss the basketball and then chase after it, often unintentionally kicking it right before you pick it up. So you end up playing "soccer/fetch!" When you can't reach a toy you look at me and shriek. It's pretty funny. Soon you will be talking and we won't even remember these pre-verbal days; hard to imagine.

Sign
You started signing "more" while your grandparents were here. And boy, do you want more!!! What's interesting and clever is that you used it when we were leaving the park, ha! I had to tell you that the park was "all done."

Fete du Anniversaire
What a blast we had for your birthday party! It was a bit of a rager, but we still really enjoyed it. We had lots of help from both of your Grandmas and Grandpa, couldn't have pulled it off without them. Auntie Aim came early to help out, and Titi Rix and Tio Mike flew in from out of town. Lots of friends and love were in this place, for you and it was a very special day.

Get down on the boogie
Your groovy moves get upgraded every few days. The foot stomp was version 2.0, followed by the deep knee bend groove which was inspired by Abuela Grandma.

Ballin
Your Auntie Hope and Uncle J got you a sweet set of balls for your bday, and you love the basketball. You love throwing, kicking and carrying it all over the house. And you started saying the word, "ball!"

Eat it! Just eat it! No one wants to be def[eat]ed.
Mealtimes are an exercise in patience for everybody involved. Your preference is to take your meals "to-go," cruising by your high chair tray, swiping some tidbits and continuing whatever it was you were doing. You want to eat what your Dad and I are eating if you have an option between that and what's on your tray. Even if it's the same thing ;) When we are out and about you love trying new things, and it seems to be "variety is the spice of life." Although you do seem to consistently accept yogurt, "Os" and anything swathed in almond butter. The few times I've gotten creative and made you huge batches of healthy kiddie treats, like Blueberry Banana Flax Oatmeal Buckwheat Pancakes or Spinach Sweet Potato Lentil Quinoa Cakes, you try it once then indicate you are not feeling it. So we continue this adventure of trying new things and trying to be patient when you refuse to stay in your high chair after 30 seconds of meal eating.

California Dreamin'
Your sleep has improved sooooo much! We can expect one night feeding, and you now know how to put yourself back to sleep. Let me pump the brakes before I get too excited! As with everything related to you, nothing is permanent, and we have had some wild nights with you as I prepare to publish this post. Two new teeth have popped through, and it was no easy feat! Your smile is officially snaggle-toothed, my favorite!

All You (I) Need is a Little Patience
You want to be independent. It's a bittersweet thing to witness. We are proud of how strong, smart, creative and CURIOUS you are. All those things mixed with being a baby (and a sensitive one at that) we find ourselves in an ocean of salty, healing baby bird tears when you don't get your way. It's a hard time--we need a lot of patience and sometimes we fail, but we are learning on the job as I often say to you. Reading the child development book chapter on your age range I thought, "Oh no, Phoenix isn't a big crier. He cries a little bit, but nothing close to what Brazelton describes as indicative of one year old behavior." Well, call me Naive Nancy, because the baby expert nailed it, and you are in a phase of learning and development that is very frustrating for you. You have the world at your fingertips, you can move easily to get what you want, but you don't always get it and we often get in the way of these desires for safety reasons.

You are constantly testing boundaries. A look at one of us before you touch something you shouldn't. YES, WE KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO. A roar of victory when you go somewhere you're not supposed to go.

When I remember that YOU are also my teacher I can pause, take a breath and dig a little deeper for that patience. It's hard to stay patient all the time, and I often tell your Dad I wish we had some grandparental presence in a permanent way so we could have that extra support. He reminded me that  we have a unique situation, and we have to lean on our unconventional family or modern day village of aunties and uncles. We are so grateful for everyone who's helped in caring for you so we can catch a moment of rest and quality parent time.

We love you sweet thang.