You You You

You're almost six months old my little love, and the action has been non-stop. Just a few thoughts to remember this time...

 People have told us you look like Maya Rudolph. And Michael Fassbender.

Friends and family comment that you are so "mellow, sweet, chill, relaxed...what a good baby!" Well, even if you were a 'bad' baby I would love you to pieces, but I'm so happy you are who you are. Thank you for choosing us, and blessing us with your sweet soul.

You love being tickled. On your back, chest, arm pits, ham-hock thighs and neck. Your laugh is a half-grunt, quarter-cry, quarter-laugh, spurted out of a gummy grin. You smile with your whole body. You laugh with your whole body, too.

 Your favorite sound to make is what we call dragon's breath. You growl low, like a dragon, and it tickles us silly.

Yesterday you sliced your hemangioma open on the netting of your play yard, affectionately known as your "He-Man" on your "baby jail." It bled a lot, and it was a little scary, but you never made a peep. Man, you are a brave one!

Today you sucked on a carrot and a deliciously sweet yellow bell pepper from the makings of our lunch. You made "this is yucky" faces as you jammed both carrot and pepper into your mouth. Then shared the carrot with your big sister. Good job sharing, Phee.

Months ago our days consisted of cuddling, snuggling, eating, sleeping and repeating. Now, you want to play, roll over, scooch, suck on every toy and non-toy in sight, play some more, eat long enough to get a few sips of milk and go back to this world that excites you so much. You coo, squeal, squeak and scream when you get excited. You like to look at the leaves and trees outside. Violet intrigues you! You love petting her, pulling on her fur, that is. She is patient with your tugs. Your Dad cannot wait to fasten a saddle for you to ride Violet. Ha!

When you see me you light up, and I've never felt such a connected, deep, luminous love in my heart. You smile when I smile at you, even when you're upset. It's as if we have some silent inside joke that is triggered by eye contact.

I think it's at least once a day that I hear  your father say: "Hey kid, we made you! I can't believe it." or "Lady, can you believe this kid?!" You have blown your father away with your presence and he is still pinching himself. He loves you madly.

You are a good sleeper, even though I'm a very tired mama. You still sleep in the bed with us, and you love to cuddle with me, your legs tucked up into my belly. You swing your arm out behind you while you nurse, and often fall asleep that way, looking Michael Jackson-esque. More often that not when I peek in on you napping with your Dad you are both positioned the exact same way. It makes my heart melt.

We are trying to move into a new house soon, and you will probably move to your own sleeping space. It is bittersweet for me because I will miss your heater-body and your sweet, puffy sleeping face, second only to my favorite smiling face. But, I've got to let you blossom and bloom, and that means you sleeping in your own room!

Next week we are going to the Dominican Republic, and I'm so excited to take you swimming in the beautiful Caribbean waters. And get the first stamp on your passport!

Your spirit teaches me such a profound patience and gives me a sweet, simple joy that I am so grateful for.

Thank you Phoenix, for lighting up our lives with love!

We Are Family

NiCalNix with Grandma Harris

This entry was written almost 2 months ago, but it's been so busy that I haven't gotten to posting it until now. Deb, my mother-in-law, is in town helping out while Cal works long days on set. Deb being here and helping out has given me a few extra moments, so it's fitting that I take one of those moments to talk about our wonderful trip to Michigan in late April.

Grandpa Tom

We recently returned from Michigan, where Phoenix got to meet his Great-Grandma Harris, Grandpa Tom, Aunt Kendra, Uncle RJ and soooo many cousins.

My baby bird was amazing on his first flight! He slept, explored and just hung out. I'm so proud/relieved that he handled the flight so well. We nursed on take-off and landing to help his ears adjust to the altitude. We wiped the plane down with anti-bacterial wipes like crazy people. I wore him using my sleepy wrap, and bounced his big butt to sleep. It was really nice to have the support of our neighbors, too!

Anywho, we had a lovely time in Michigan, visiting with family at the Open House thrown by Deb, Tom, Kendra + RJ!

We ate lots of delicious blueberry pancakes-thank you Deb.

Grandma Deb

Aunt Sue

We celebrated my Bday several times-thank you Faustins for a wild DIY steakhouse experience; thank you Tom + Deb for babysitting and for yummy Bday cakes :)

We met soooo many wonderful and generous cousins-thank you Harris/Achenbach Families!

Uncle RJ and Cousin Cal

We got to hang with great friends of T+D-thank you Ruffers, Ollilas, Gelardis, Van Gilders, just to name a few.

So grateful Phee got to touch down on the land his ancestors walked :)

Phee's First Food

It's been a while. So busy! Life is happily breezing or (maybe a better word is) blazing by with my sweet bird filling my heart at every turn.every moment. Posts will be out of order for a little while as I am just putting up what I can when I can in attempt to keep it moving.

Phoenix has been staring and grabbing at our food lately. He is definitely interested in his parents' food. So this morning I thought, let's introduce some solids, people! Phoenix had, and enjoyed, some "creamy guacamole" aka avo mashed with bmilk.

My big guy is growing up, and this is definitely proof. I think he was surprised by the flavor, but not displeased.

And if he's anything like his father, Auntie Rix, Auntie Ceci or Grandma he's just beginning his love affair with the avocado.

King Phee

We, like most, are really into HBO's Game of Thrones.
Callard stumbled across some deleted scenes from this season...

King Joffrey's stand in....

That's What Friends Are For

I would like to thank the beautiful, talented and generous Aimee Deshayes for allowing me to attend my first audition back after having Phoenix.

I was so excited when I saw a Starbucks commercial audition in my inbox yesterday. It was for today @ 11am. And Callard was scheduled to audition @ the exact same time.

While we have gotten numerous offers for babysitting from people we trust, most people are unavailable during the weekday or last minute. Last week I met our neighbor Sonia, a Costa Rican nanny who watches kids on the block, and will work last minute-but "that's more per hour." I met her Friday and haven't checked her references.  As charming as she was--she talked our ears off for an hour, Phee went straight to sleep--she's a stranger, and the thought of leaving my sweet boy with a stranger is scary. But some day I'll have to get over that fear when I work or have some time to myself. So maybe we'll check her references and give it a go.

Luckily we were blessed with dear Aimee's on site nanny service. This looks like Aimee and I driving together to the audition, chatting, laughing, sipping our coffees. Then Aim keeping an eye on Phoenix while I'm in the room.



It got me thinking about an "on-site" nanny for actors. We often need someone to watch our munchkins just for 10 or 15 minutes. If we could have a nanny meet us @ the audition site and hold/comfort/entertain baby while momma auditions we'd save ourselves a lot of stress! I'm picturing a nanny who lives near Ocean Park or 200 S. La Brea or the other audition factories who we pay $5 for the 'quick sit.' It's the cost of most overpriced LA lattes.

When Phee is older I probably won't mind asking a fellow actor to keep an eye on him. I'm just grateful today that his Tante Aimee got to hang with him. And me. Thanks Aimee!

Reassuring Blog

peaceful parenting: Why African Babies Don't Cry: By J. Claire K. Niala Posted with permission Read more from Niala at In Culture Parent I was born and grew up in Kenya and Cote d’Ivoir...

Came across this blog entry today, and I love it. A Kenyan woman returns home from the UK to raise her baby. Her grandma encourages her to "read her baby, not the books" and to offer the baby the breast at every single moment, aka "nyonyo."

We joke about our pediatrician telling us to nurse ALL THE TIME. Meaning if Phoenix fusses, nurse him. If he cries, nurse him. If he's colicky, nurse him. If he's lonely or hungry or inconsolable or overtired, nurse him. Breastfeeding is this doctor's panacea.

Well it's worked pretty well so far, and it's nice to hear that an entire culture has had success with "the sucking solution." Of course Kenyan babies cry, too. They just don't cry as much. Maybe because their mouths are full, wink wink. And while Mr. Phoenix Axè Harris is certainly not a cry-free baby, he seems to be a pretty care-free baby. I hope that he remains as peaceful as his Kenyan cousins.

Growing (Up)

Phoenix is an exceptionally mellow baby. A sweet boy who rarely cries. He'll grunt or whine or fuss if he needs something, usually it's attention he wants. Pick him up and he smiles and calms. But the meltdowns and scream fests are pretty rare.

So when he had a Red Level Meltdown the other day and then another the next day, we started to look @ milestones being the cause versus the more immediate "I'm hungry/I'm hot/Change my diaper" fare.

Is he having a growth spurt?! 'Yes' always seems to be the answer to that question. Is my baby boy teething @ 3 + months?! According to our ped it's always possible, as babies can be born with teeth. As helpful as that fun fact is, as a parent you just want a definitive answer so you can spring into action and help your little one feel better. Not knowing what's irking your baby is a huge lesson in surrender and patience.

But the hardest part for me is realizing that my need to swoop in and soothe and protect him will probably outlive his need to receive my mothering. The milestones represent him growing, developing and learning independence. Time passing. And while I want nothing more than for him to thrive and blossom, my heart breaks at the thought that my sweetheart will outgrow his need to be snuggled in his mother's arms.

Is it weird that sometimes I wanna breastfeed him forever??? Not forever with him being a grown up obviously, but forever where time pauses and he's always a baby :) Even when my little guy is punching me in the boob while nursing, we still have a mother and child bond. It's kinda sad that someday he's not gonna need me anymore in that way. I guess he'll need me for other things, so that connection will change. But it's so nice to have their warm cuddly bodies on you all melty and relaxed and milk-drunk and peaceful and protected. So sweet and simple.

This weekend I'm doing a photoshoot for a book featuring nursing mothers. We will receive a copy of our portrait. Although my birdie Phoenix will grow and soar out of the nest, I'll have this portrait to remind me of our special time together in the nest... Mama bird protecting, growing and nourishing baby bird.