Compassion

I stumbled across a really moving blog post a few months back, meant to post about it, and found it again today. It was perfect medicine.

Everyday we have an opportunity to move deeper into love by showing compassion to ourselves and to each other. It's so easy to judge others based on our own false sense of righteousness or focus-shifting insecurity. It is hard work to respect others' choices and stand by our own. To honor our own growing process and to acknowledge that our way is not the only way, but hopefully if we are coming from a good and true place, it is the best way for ourselves. Then perhaps we can give the same respect to other parents. I find myself asking why a mother would do this or that, and I know nothing about the situation. To look at another human being, parent or not, to wish them well and appreciate their process as unique, bumpy and sacred as my own is tough work. But I feel called to stop judging because it doesn't help. What if we simply offered a smile to that person whose choices we are questioning.

The truth is we are in this life and world together. My son may grow up to be your daughter's friend, boss or lover. We are connected even though it often feels much the opposite. So my good deed is yours. And your good intention benefits me.

Check out the blog posting here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/amy-morrison/motherhood_b_2271349.html

Happy Birthday to YOU!

My Sweet Golden Sun,

Happy First Birthday to you, Phoenix, the Squirrel, Harris!

One year ago I met my newest soul-mate, face-to-face. He is proof of the abundance of love. He is light, bliss and unconditional love.

One year ago, you came to us and life has never been the same.
I am so grateful everyday, even the exhausting ones, for the belly-bursting laughter and joy you bring into our lives. You are so wise and spontaneous and affectionate and determined and in-the-moment and beautiful and free and full of love and smart.
You are pure, unbridled joy. The majority of your day is spent speed-walking, picking up toys and laughing your butt off.

You are my teacher. You teach me gratitude. And simplicity. You teach me compassion and empathy. You teach me mad amounts of patience. You show me what's important. You teach me that we choose our reactions. You teach me how to have fun. You teach me how to love deeply and profoundly. Thank you for coming to us and through us and being LOVE.

Sign of the Times

Since our last post, you started signing "EAT." It's beyond exciting that you've learned another way to communicate!!! We started working on EAT when you were about 6 months, and you've finally got it down. What's funny is you really mean NURSE, because I would do the sign for EAT when I asked you if you wanted to EAT, since milk has been and still is your mainstay. So proud of you, little monkey! What more can we sign? I'm also trying to teach you to verbalize "UP" when you want to get picked up. Since that happens so many times a day I wouldn't be surprised if you were able to pick it up soon.

Getting you to communicate (sign "all done") when you are finished eating in your high chair has been a battle. You prefer to stand up in your chair until one of us flies to your side, heart pounding, and implores you to sit down and sign that you are through eating. You've signed "all done" once, so we know you can do it, but you prefer to do it your own way. You've been eating a lot more in the last few weeks, and I mean actually swallowing food after you've sucked on it for a spell. You want to try every and anything we are eating, and we usually let you, within reason. I'm glad you are excited about eating because since you've become mobile you are a skinny little thing. I want to fatten you back up!

Lungs
You love to cruise around the house screaming. Short little shrieks. Hilarious and intense and LOUD outbursts from our "Bear-adactyl." You yell out, then your Dad yells out. You guys match each other's pitch, then sometimes you change it up. It's so cool to see you discover your voice. PS: Your cry is on a whole new level of LOUD and bass-y. It's bananas and deafening, and sooo expressive. I expect nothing less than an expressive and loud offspring coming from me :)

Visitors
Your Tio Rahsaan came to visit, and we had a great time catching up and reminiscing. You guys played a lot, and we went for a nice hike in the new neighborhood. He reminds me so much of your Abuelo Cliff, so I'm glad that he will be an influence on you and reminder of your grandfather.

Your Grandma Abuela and GranDan came to visit, and you intently watched her dance. Later that night, you tried to replicate her hip swaying. New dance move, Phee!

You had a great time visiting with the Queen, Ashley Nicole. You got lots of cuddle time with her and you loved swimming at her house! We can't wait to meet the little prince/princess who's coming any day now.

Daddy Duty
You spent "almost 40 hours" alone with Daddy while I was at my doula training. I use the quotation marks because when your father recounts your adventures he always opens with how much time passed. You guys had a blast, and I was so worried that you guys would need me. Ha! Psych. You two did not need me at all. This helped me to relax and really get into my training on the second days. You did suffer your two biggest career injuries while I was gone, and Daddy was smart enough to tell me after I got home! Good move, Callard :)

Strike It Up
On MLK day we were watching inauguration festivities, and your Dad was dancing in the living room. He called me in from the kitchen, "Come quick, lady--He's copying me!" You were patting your little foot, and doing your best to imitate your Dad. So now, in our daily dance sessions, your go-to move has become the foot stomp.

Looking back
I've been poring over photos and videos from "the beginning." I can't believe how teeny, skinny, fragile, dark-haired and different you were. Compared to now, I mean. You and I watched some videos from right after you were born. You were intrigued. While watching the video of you attempting to breastfeed for the first time you stared at the new you resting on my chest, grunting and trying to find the boob. I don't know if watching yourself trying to eat made you hungry, but you looked at me and signed that you wanted to eat, what a crack up!

Looking at these videos and pics just warms my heart. Looking at myself I see a certain peace, even though becoming a new parent was challenging, intimidating and at times, overwhelming. I think that peace came from the intense love that was growing inside my heart. The love I felt for you grounded me, like roots growing into the earth.  My heart opened up for you, blossomed, bloomed and our connection was as strong as roots. Powerful stuff, guy!

January 29, 2013
We celebrated your first birthday yesterday. It was such a good day :) Highlights were your Dad's gift: homemade wooden blocks! These are so cool. There are different shapes and sizes and you immediately started banging them on anything you could find. They are loud and pretty. After blocks we watched you enjoy/destroy your first bday cake. I made you a zucchini carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. It was pretty good for a no-sugar hippie cake :) And most importantly, you enjoyed it. In fact, we had to take it way so you wouldn't eat too much and get a stomach ache.

Cheers
Here's to another wonderful year with you, together, in harmony, laughter, learning, peace and joy!

Love you to pieces, sweet SquirrelyBird!
Ma & Da