King Phee

We, like most, are really into HBO's Game of Thrones.
Callard stumbled across some deleted scenes from this season...

King Joffrey's stand in....

That's What Friends Are For

I would like to thank the beautiful, talented and generous Aimee Deshayes for allowing me to attend my first audition back after having Phoenix.

I was so excited when I saw a Starbucks commercial audition in my inbox yesterday. It was for today @ 11am. And Callard was scheduled to audition @ the exact same time.

While we have gotten numerous offers for babysitting from people we trust, most people are unavailable during the weekday or last minute. Last week I met our neighbor Sonia, a Costa Rican nanny who watches kids on the block, and will work last minute-but "that's more per hour." I met her Friday and haven't checked her references.  As charming as she was--she talked our ears off for an hour, Phee went straight to sleep--she's a stranger, and the thought of leaving my sweet boy with a stranger is scary. But some day I'll have to get over that fear when I work or have some time to myself. So maybe we'll check her references and give it a go.

Luckily we were blessed with dear Aimee's on site nanny service. This looks like Aimee and I driving together to the audition, chatting, laughing, sipping our coffees. Then Aim keeping an eye on Phoenix while I'm in the room.



It got me thinking about an "on-site" nanny for actors. We often need someone to watch our munchkins just for 10 or 15 minutes. If we could have a nanny meet us @ the audition site and hold/comfort/entertain baby while momma auditions we'd save ourselves a lot of stress! I'm picturing a nanny who lives near Ocean Park or 200 S. La Brea or the other audition factories who we pay $5 for the 'quick sit.' It's the cost of most overpriced LA lattes.

When Phee is older I probably won't mind asking a fellow actor to keep an eye on him. I'm just grateful today that his Tante Aimee got to hang with him. And me. Thanks Aimee!

Reassuring Blog

peaceful parenting: Why African Babies Don't Cry: By J. Claire K. Niala Posted with permission Read more from Niala at In Culture Parent I was born and grew up in Kenya and Cote d’Ivoir...

Came across this blog entry today, and I love it. A Kenyan woman returns home from the UK to raise her baby. Her grandma encourages her to "read her baby, not the books" and to offer the baby the breast at every single moment, aka "nyonyo."

We joke about our pediatrician telling us to nurse ALL THE TIME. Meaning if Phoenix fusses, nurse him. If he cries, nurse him. If he's colicky, nurse him. If he's lonely or hungry or inconsolable or overtired, nurse him. Breastfeeding is this doctor's panacea.

Well it's worked pretty well so far, and it's nice to hear that an entire culture has had success with "the sucking solution." Of course Kenyan babies cry, too. They just don't cry as much. Maybe because their mouths are full, wink wink. And while Mr. Phoenix Axè Harris is certainly not a cry-free baby, he seems to be a pretty care-free baby. I hope that he remains as peaceful as his Kenyan cousins.

Growing (Up)

Phoenix is an exceptionally mellow baby. A sweet boy who rarely cries. He'll grunt or whine or fuss if he needs something, usually it's attention he wants. Pick him up and he smiles and calms. But the meltdowns and scream fests are pretty rare.

So when he had a Red Level Meltdown the other day and then another the next day, we started to look @ milestones being the cause versus the more immediate "I'm hungry/I'm hot/Change my diaper" fare.

Is he having a growth spurt?! 'Yes' always seems to be the answer to that question. Is my baby boy teething @ 3 + months?! According to our ped it's always possible, as babies can be born with teeth. As helpful as that fun fact is, as a parent you just want a definitive answer so you can spring into action and help your little one feel better. Not knowing what's irking your baby is a huge lesson in surrender and patience.

But the hardest part for me is realizing that my need to swoop in and soothe and protect him will probably outlive his need to receive my mothering. The milestones represent him growing, developing and learning independence. Time passing. And while I want nothing more than for him to thrive and blossom, my heart breaks at the thought that my sweetheart will outgrow his need to be snuggled in his mother's arms.

Is it weird that sometimes I wanna breastfeed him forever??? Not forever with him being a grown up obviously, but forever where time pauses and he's always a baby :) Even when my little guy is punching me in the boob while nursing, we still have a mother and child bond. It's kinda sad that someday he's not gonna need me anymore in that way. I guess he'll need me for other things, so that connection will change. But it's so nice to have their warm cuddly bodies on you all melty and relaxed and milk-drunk and peaceful and protected. So sweet and simple.

This weekend I'm doing a photoshoot for a book featuring nursing mothers. We will receive a copy of our portrait. Although my birdie Phoenix will grow and soar out of the nest, I'll have this portrait to remind me of our special time together in the nest... Mama bird protecting, growing and nourishing baby bird.